I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
