When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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