Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
