1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
