We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
