Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
