bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
