Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
