so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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