im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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