I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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