thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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