So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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