Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
