I think my vagina is haunted
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
