I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
