Small penises have feelings too.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
