32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
