I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
