Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
