I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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