I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
