my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
