She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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