Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
