I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
