I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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