it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
