They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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