I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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