so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Randomize
