D3 body, D1 cock
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
