is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
