After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
