It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
