She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
