Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
