Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Dignity is for republicans.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
