So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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