I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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