i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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