id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
