For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
