i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
