just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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