I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
