my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
