i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
its not stalking. its research.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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