We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
