You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
