I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
