I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
