I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
