I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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