it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I want her autograph on my taint
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
