I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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